Often what happens is that we allow the bully to get away with it and the bully is being rewarded by other people – who think his abuse is funny. The victim – by “playing along” is making that seem socially ok. After all – if the victim isn’t really being hurt – what is the harm.
This may seem strange to people who have not been victimized, but it’s hard not to feel responsible for what happens to yourself. And when someone violates you – it’s hard – not to take it personally. And people do.
hate isn’t rational. It’s a realistic response, but it doesn’t always help us come up with a strategy that will actually work to solve our problem. Most of the time when we are in the throws of hate – we just lash out – randomly and ineffectively.
We humans are instinctively programmed to want to fit in. When someone marks us as others, our immediate instinct is to basically beg to get back into the “group.” This …