A bully needs someone who will respond to them either in fear or in submission. They don’t really care which. Heck, getting made at them means they got to you and THEY controlled YOUR behavior.
Don’t allow them to control your behavior.
It is a huge mistake to characterize a kid who is behaving badly and bullying as evil. First, it gives them more power over our imaginations then is warranted. And second, it prevents us from doing what we should be doing to stop them.
Their goal is rarely against a particular group of people (though they might justify their behavior that way). The goal is social exclusion and power. Until and unless we deal with that, as the goal, we will fail to get it to stop.
When you deal with bullying, if they don’t feel that you have treated them fairly – they will start to lose their trust in you. Is it any wonder that so few report what is happening?
