What kindness looks like when you are being attacked
I get asked all the time, what does standing up to a bully actually look like? I also get push back against the whole – be kind to bullies message I share. But it really does work.
Pretending It’s Ok- when it really isn’t
Often what happens is that we allow the bully to get away with it and the bully is being rewarded by other people – who think his abuse is funny. The victim – by “playing along” is making that seem socially ok. After all – if the victim isn’t really being hurt – what is the harm.
Dealing with Hate
hate isn’t rational. It’s a realistic response, but it doesn’t always help us come up with a strategy that will actually work to solve our problem. Most of the time when we are in the throws of hate – we just lash out – randomly and ineffectively.
Be Awesome.
You remove the reward by owning your awesomeness. They will escalate. Get frustrated and eventually leave you alone. They will get worse – before they give up. This is to be expected. It’s part of the process. It even has a name: Extinction Burst and it’s well studied