Most humans, including bullies, have a vision of themselves. If you are relatively healthy, you will think you are moral, for the most part, and that when someone is rude to you, they are at fault. But how do you know if you aren’t the problem?
Getting cranky back at someone who is cranky doesn’t help anyone. This doesn’t mean you let people bully you, just because they are being cranky.
Bullying plays havoc with our self-esteem, with our sense of worth AND it can cause trauma, which can rewire the brain’s fear circuitry. If you have been bullied and have been emotionally traumatized by it, it isnt’ enough to get the bullying to stop, you also need to do some work to repair the damage that the bullying did to your thinking process.
I realize this is exhausting and no one should have to go through this. But, you are and that’s the reality of being black in America. You don’t have a choice. And yes, that sucks. But … lashing out is a luxury you unfortunately don’t have.
