Who do you want to be?

No one wants to be the victim of bullying. We are each the hero of our own stories. Even the most timid among us can stand up to the bullies of the world, if they know how.

Most humans, including bullies, have a vision of themselves. If you are relatively healthy, you will think you are moral, for the most part, and that when someone is rude to you, they are at fault.

But how do you know if you aren’t the problem? All of us, even the most virtuous among us, fail our own ideals at some point. In order to be the good person we like to think we are, we need to think about how we respond to and deal with the bullies of the world.

It starts with deciding that you are going to be a good person and defining what that means to you. Are you honest, courageous, kind? A combination of the above?

Then, consider your situation. If you are being bullied, how do you normally respond? Do you live up to your ideals? No? Then lets think about changing how you respond.

Choosing your response is the essence of what it means to be responsible. And unless you have some sort of neurological disorder, you can chose you response. What you want to do is chose to respond calmly and firmly but politely. Your goal is to not reward the bad behavior.

You do this by planning something you can say and practicing saying it in a calm direct way. You aren’t asking them to stop. You are politely and respectfully telling them to stop. The difference is important. If they don’t report them. Matter of fact. You aren’t interested in getting them in trouble, just – this is a natural consequence of someone behaving badly. They don’t get what they want and they get in trouble – from someone else.

Choosing to respond compassionately, responsibly and politely and you will look back at these interactions and feel good about who you are and how you responded.

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