This was a comment I got on one of my anti-bullying videos. The person was saying, no – they don’t need to feel compassion for their bully. I get it. No one wants to feel bad for a bully. But that’s not the point of feeling compassion.
This woman tracked down her bullies and other women in middle school. What she learned, may surprise you.
If someone is behaving badly, you don’t have to join them. Hate is a very difficult emotion to feel and it’s a very difficult emotion to carry. If you want to be happy in life, and I hope you do, learn how to deal with difficult people, with love, joy and compassion. It will drive the haters mad.
When someone is behaving in a way we don’t like, we can choose our response. The way to get a bully to stop is to stop rewarding them. And we do that, through compassionate non-compliance. And I realize that is a big word. It just means, nicely … don’t give them what they want.