No one wants to deal with a bully. But if you are being bullied, you don’t have a choice. You are being bullied. The question is what are you going to do about it?
We all have avoidance techniques. When my son doesn’t want to deal with something, he copes by reading a book. It’s his way of avoiding unpleasant social interactions or school work he doesn’t want to do.
Most of us don’t like conflict and so we avoid it. In most cases, this works. We don’t feed the conflict, the conflict goes away.
This doesn’t work with bullies though. It just makes the situation worse. You simply cannot ignore a bully and have them go away! If you want the bullying to stop, you are going to have to do something to make them stop.
Hoping that someone else will make them stop isn’t going to work either. If you are being bullied, you are the only person who is motivated to make it stop. Everyone else might have sympathy – but ultimately it’s your problem, not theirs.
So … instead of trying to avoid dealing with the bully, I suggest you actually take them on. Make them stop.
The first step is to get real. You are being bullied!!!! Accept that. Accept that wishing they will stop isn’t going to work and make it your responsibility to make them stop. I promise you – deciding to do something about it is the hardest part.
Next, understand that there are no quick fixes. Getting them to stop is a process that will take some time and you have to be strategic. Getting bullies to stop is hard. You have to have a plan and that plan should be informed by the science of how exactly behaviors are stopped!! That’s what I teach.
I created this website to help teach what exactly has to happen to make bullying stop. Get my book. Take advantage of the free lessons I have on the site. If you need access to my toolkit – to create a strategic – sign up and get it.
You can do this. You can take this on and succeed. It won’t be easy and there are no quick fixes. But it can be done IF you know what you are doing.