You Can’t Wish Bullying Away

You can’t wish yourself into being fearless. It takes works.

bullygirl

The way you become fearless is by actively doing what you need to do despite your fears. You confront them, decide you won’t let your fears control you and act accordingly.

It is not until you experience the consequences of having acted despite your fears that you can become fearless. Until then, all you are experiencing is your imagination. If I do this, they will hurt me or something bad will happen. Once you do it anyway, you experience the consequences. Almost always, those consequences are not as bad as you imagined them to be.

The more you act the way you want to despite your fears, the more realize that you don’t need to be afraid and the less afraid you become.

Overcoming your fears requires action. The hard part is starting. I always find that educating myself on possible outcomes and ways to approach whatever the problem is I am facing helps me come up with a strategy to tackle my problems successfully. Or at least, it gives me a reasonable assurance that I’m not flying blindly and that my actions have a good chance of having a good outcome.

If you are too scared to stand up to your bully, the antidote to that is to learn the most effective ways to stand up to a bully and practice them so that when you are next confronted by a bully, you are ready to respond the way you ideally want to.

This website will help you learn those skills. Standing up to a bully is something you can learn. It’s like a performance. You have something you have practiced saying. You have practiced saying it so your voice is calm when you say it. You have practiced making eye contact or looking at someone ear so that you don’t look down or submissive when you say it. And you know what to expect from the bully when you do this (which is that they will probably be confused and then try again or escalate). You will also know what to expect next and how to handle the likely retaliation so that you control what is happening so that the bullying actually stops.

Poke around this website. View the free videos. Sign up for my newsletter and get a free book. Read my blog. If you are dealing with a chronic bullying problem, sign up for the toolkit to get additional help and information. And please share this website with others so that together we can help kids learn what they need to learn so we can finally #stopbullying.