I get it. Bullies are scary. They use aggression to make us afraid so that we will do what they want. Don’t play their game.
I know this is difficult advice to follow. But there is a reason why most of the advice from adults is – don’t let it bother you.
What we have learned, from experience is this: there are always going to be people in the world who aren’t nice. Trying to appease them doesn’t work. It will never work. All that does – is reward them for being mean – by given them what they want – which is your compliance.
You simply can’t please a bully or get them to suddenly be nice by giving them what they want. So – don’t try.
You can’t beat a bully by playing their game. So DON”T PLAY THEIR GAME! Who would you be if you didn’t care whether the bully approved of you? Be that person! Be yourself. Be happy.
I assure you – there are a lot of people experiencing the exact same thing you are. And they are scared too. You just aren’t seeing them because – like you – they are trying to make themselves invisible. They are trying to blend in.
What you will find when you stop trying to blend in, and give yourself permission to no longer seek a bully’s approval is that – you will become fearless. And by being fearless, you will give permission to all the other people out there – who also want to be themselves without fear of rejection.
And that’s really what this is about. The bully bullies to control you – by making you afraid you will be rejected. When you stop worrying about that, be your authentic crazy self – people will like you.
My son is currently in middle school. He was hassled in grade school. In middle school – he decided – he was going to flaunt being different. He wears tie dyed colored shoes – just to intentionally be ridiculous. And he gets compliments on them everywhere he goes. Why? Because – people like people who have the courage to stand out and be themselves.
In my book – I talk about my choice in high school to wear ridiculous clothing – overalls rolled up to show my crazy multi-colored socks. My attempt to wear something crazy – created a fashion trend.
So please – stop trying to fit in and stop worry about what a bully is going to say – and just own it. If it doesn’t matter what you do – they are going to say mean things – then you may as well own what you REALLY like.