Bullying is a behavior. Behaviors are learned. They do it because it works. If you want to make it stop – you have to make it stop working.
This is fairly easy to do. Just stop rewarding them. Stop giving them what they want. Don’t act afraid, don’t cower. Just politely say – stop. It’s a command, not a request.
If they don’t – report them. This increases the cost of their behavior.
What happens next? Well – that’s the hard part. They will most likely escalate and get worse. That is what the science tells us. So instead of getting upset and thinking it didn’t work, understand it did – and they didn’t like it – that’s why they got worse.
If you want it to stop, you have to see this through to completion. Keep telling them to stop and keep reporting them. Eventually – they will get in enough trouble that they will stop.
In the meantime – see if you can hang out with kids who don’t bully you. It’s hard when you are feeling sorry for yourself, but there are other bullied kids and you can find finds.
Is this easy to do? No – it takes courage and consistency. Will you be proud of yourself when you “win.” And the bully starts to leave you alone? Yes.
I’m not telling you it’s easy to get a bully to stop. I’m telling you it’s worth it.
I have all sorts of free materials on the website – including a free video lesson, a free toolkit to help kids who are being chronically bullied.
And please share this with others. The more people who know the science – the better. YOu can help yourself and help make the world a better place at the same time.