Don’t let your fears keep you from finding friends.
It is very easy to demonize people. We let our fears impact how we feel about others. And when we fear people – we assume they are bad or evil – because – they are making us afraid.
But that’s our thoughts and our thinking. It’s entirely possible that – they are nice – and you just don’t know it.
One of my best friends – didn’t like me when she first met me. She readily admits this. She thought I was a snobby person and so – she treated me as if I was snobby. She felt I was a threat.
The reality was – I was not a threat to her. And I didn’t know she didn’t like me so I pursued a friendship with her – because – she’s super cool.
It wasn’t until we were stuck together in the back seat of a tiny car on a road trip with mutual friends that she was forced to get to know me. That’s when she realized – we both have a rather wicked but kind sense of humor.
In short, I wasn’t at all who she assumed I was. We have been friends for decades now.
Don’t assume you know who someone is. Don’t assume you know why they are acting the way they are. Give people a chance. Let them surprise you with their kindness.
The reality is – most people are really nice and are insecure and looking for friends. Be open to that.
Now – if they behave badly and bully and demean you – well – respond accordingly – and by accordingly – I mean – don’t respond in kind. Use the behavioral techniques I teach to help you get them to stop while protecting yourself.
One of the reasons compassion is such an important part of the process and metholdology is because- even when people behave badly – it may not be because they dislike you. Often they are responding to other things. And you can help them and help yourself at the same time.
But – your safety does come first. So – learn the skills of how to protect yourself without hurting others.
Get my book and take advantage of all the free lessons I offer.