Bullying can have lasting effects, including a bitterness towards certain individuals. It is hard to move on and forgive, but if things happen when you are a kid, understand that people change.
I realize it is hard to view someone who tormented you as anything other than a monster. But if they were a kid when this happened – then they were probably not completely aware of what they were doing.
Lots of times bullies have their own problems and stresses that they are dealing with that have nothing to do with the person(s) they targeted. Most people mean well even if they don’t always act well.
This is why I recommend compassion. it doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it changes how you interpret the behavior. It helps you distance yourself from the hurt that was directed at you and allows you to focus on the hurt of others. This really does help with healing and there is a reason why every major religion encourages compassion.
Even if the person really was incorrigible and as an adult are just as mean as they were when they were young, it is still useful to feel compassion.
Bullying makes us bitter. It hurts. It makes us less trustful and impacts our other relationships. It is ok to let go of the bitterness and feel compassion for this person, whoever they are. You can forgive them and move on and stop thinking about them and stop allowing their hate to define your present.
To learn more Get my book and watch my videos. And definitely join this site – because there are a lot of free materials – only available to members. And yes – membership is free though there is also a paid membership if you want to help support my work.