Question:
What do I do ? She doesn’t understand that that she is harassing me because I am male does that mean I have no feeling? A classmate keeps referring to my penis as small (she has never seen my penis) after i told her several times to stop.she keeps doing she says this is male ego . What do I do?
Answer:
Whether your penis is small is totally irrelevant. It’s inappropriate for her to be sexually harassing you – which is what she is doing. You need to do 3 things.
Have something to say in response and say this every time. Something along the lines of “thanks for that information. It’s very helpful” said in a monotone. Make eye contact with her when you say it. This phrase should be calm, and not a response to the claim, but rather a statement about how inappropriate and stupid her claim is without calling it out explicitly as stupid. Another possible response is “I appreciate your interest, but let’s keep things professional.” You need to say this every single time she says whatever it is she says. She will respond a bit confused. She may try other tactics. Just keep repeating your phrase until she disengages. Remain calm and make eye contact until she disengages. She is trying to dominant you and if you break off she wins.
Keep a log of every time she says something inappropriate. This log should include what exactly she said, when she said it, where, who witnessed it. You may need this to prove the pattern of harassment when you do step 3. Do this for about a week.
After you have a log showing a week’s worth of harassment, then, move to phase 2. Which is the next time she comments on your penis size, say your chosen phrase. Make eye contact, remain calm. If she repeats or escalates, raise your hand and report to the teacher that this girl is making inappropriate comments to you about your penis. Once you start reporting you must report every time. Basically – she says something, you say your chosen phrase. If she stops, great. If she continues, report that she is commenting on your penis. Do not be ashamed to say the word penis. The problem is her behavior – not your penis. Report her every single time. When the teacher asks what is going on – show them your documentation log. A copy anyway – you need to keep the original with you. Repeat this as necessary until she stops or gets in so much trouble that she is forced to stop.
Expect her to escalate or try to retaliate and be ready for that. Respond, document and report consistently. Every time. It is the consistency over time that will get this to stop.
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