Confronting Lies

Bullies lie to discredit their victims. What can you do when someone is lying about you.

Bullying Tip #12: How to deal with cyber bullying

The answer is it depends on the situation. But there are some principles to help guide you. First and most importantly, it is impossible to “win” an argument with a liar. So don’t try. Instead, make sure the refs know that the other person is lying.

If it is online. I’d probably just ignore it. Most people are smart enough to not believe everything they read and if they look you up and find that you aren’t petty or concerned about it – they will probably write the person lying about you off as a troll.

This does work. I have people who lie about me online. I don’t pay them any attention and my reputation is fine. I do sometimes get asked about the lies, but it’s always in the context of – why is this person lying about you.

I find that if I focus on my stuff and doing my work people notice that. If I became obsessed with the lies, I’d probably come off as unhinged and kind of crazy.

If the lies are in the workplace and constitute harassment, report the person lying to your manager. You don’t need to confront the liar, just the judges, meaning the administrators and managers. Let them know this other person is lying about you and ask them to help. You are countering the lies without getting into an argument with the liar. This will make you look professional and the other person will look petty.

The same rules apply if this is school bullying. Let the teachers know, and don’t challenge the bully and tell them they are lying. All this does is make the bystanders think that there may be something to the lie. If you are asked by a bystander, let them know if is a lie and don’t badmouth the liar. Let them dig their own hole. You can help them by reporting them.

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