Good kids should never become so desperate to end the bullying that they are willing to kill their tormentor to make it stop. We need to start teaching them HOW to get bullies to leave them alone.
Why does this happen? Why are kids being pushed to this point? They get to this point because NO ONE taught them how to get the bully to stop using more effective and ethical practices.
Why is this happening?
This week a fifth grader in Winter Haven FL took a butcher’s knife to school to help him defend himself against his bullies. He has apparently been tormented for years and the school has failed to protect him and his parents haven’t been able to help him either.
These kids are so desperate for help and in the absence of someone helping them, they come up with their own solutions. Some choose to fight back. Some simply commit suicide.
Making a Change
If we are going to change this pattern of bullying, retaliation and death, we need to change how we approach helping kids in crisis. If we want them to choose more ethical and less violent ways of solving their problems, we need to teach them how to solve their problems.
This shouldn’t be a radical idea. Yet, we are failing to do that. Most parents aren’t able to help because they don’t know how to solve the problem either. What’s really frustrating is that the skills we need to teach are REALLY easy to teach. We just have to learn what they are ourselves.
This is WHY I am doing what I am doing.
I wrote my book and created this website to teach people how to get a bully to stop using operant conditioning because operant conditioning works. It is effective and compassionate and solves the problem in a way that you can feel good about.
When bullying escalates to violence and the victim retaliates with violence it means that we adults have failed to teach them what they so desperately needed to know.
We can no longer afford to tolerate bullying behavior. We have a moral obligation to teach our kids these skills. Which means, we have a moral obligation to learn these skills ourselves so that we CAN teach them.
And yes, I’m talking to you. Once you learn them, you need to start teaching them to the children in your life and the other adults as well. AND… you need to pass this information along and share it with others.
The only way we are going to solve the problem of bullying is through education. Share what you learn on this site with others and encourage them to become educated as well. We owe it to our children to help them.