My friend Penny Steinhauer from EyePat in England has great information about bullying, In fact, her materials are so good I recommend them to everyone, not just people being bullied. She is spot on about why interpersonal dynamics go astray.
Anyway, the gist of her anti-bullying message is that Happy Kids don’t bully. And That’s basically true. Her group put out a couple of really good videos showing the motivation behind some forms of bullying. Watch them here.
What I want you to notice is that this pulls on your heartstrings. This doesn’t excuse a bully’s bad behavior. And you still need to defend yourself against them. The point is that you should not take what a bully is doing to you personally or emotionally. They have their own problems they are dealing with. And when you can see that, their behavior towards you doesn’t hurt nearly as much. And that’s a good thing for someone who finds themselves the unfortunate victim of a bully.
So, the next time you find yourself being hassled by someone mean. Take the time to think about why this person may be behaving so poorly.